Tag Archives: relationships

Gratitude Exeriment: Day 46

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The practice of Proactive Gratitude is surely discipline that requires us being vigilant…vigilant in our thoughts and reactions to events and people in our lives. It is so easy to react to frustrating occurrences by getting angry, particularly if we’re sure it’s someone else’s fault.  We feel justified in our anger.  It’s easy to react to current physical “facts” like seeing a lack of money in our bank account and many bills to pay. It’s easy to get fearful and upset.  It’s easy to react to loss or rejection by friends, lovers or potential employers by getting depressed.  These are all natural human reactions and our friends will agree with us that we should feel this way.  It also keeps us stuck in the problem and stuck in “victim-consciousness”.   But, what do victims attract?  More abuse.

The good news is that we have a choice.  It may not be as easy a choice, but it’s the choice that will empower us.   The moment we begin to feel ourselves reacting…we can at the moment stop, take a few deep breaths and allow our minds to shift into another perspective.  We can then see these “facts” or events from a higher perspective.  We can open ourselves to the possibility that there may be something greater behind the current circumstance.  There may, in fact, be a blessing in it.  Then we can move to a place of TRUST that there is a blessing in this experience and it is making itself known to us.  

Current circumstances are temporary. The question is…will we continue to experience these same circumstances over and over?  We certainly will if we only look at how “awful” the situation is and bemoan it.  If we never look for the blessing within the challenge, or see it from a higher perspective.  We are doomed to repeat it.

It’s when we have the courage to take that time, open our heart and our minds and trust that something wonderful is on it’s way…that this situation could be just the thing that will propel our growth into a new plateau of joy and success.

We’ve all heard stories of people who’ve worked at a company for years and relied on the steady paycheck, then suddenly the rug is pulled from underneath them and they’re layed off.  Those who focus on how horrible it is, and spend their energy blaming others are doomed to repeat it, or experience anger and frustration their whole life.  Then there are those with whom…this same event occurs…and they’ve chosen to see it as a blessing. They’re grateful for it happening because they can now pursue something they’ve always wanted to do.

The same for so many relationships that end.  It feels so painful and it’s so easy to blame the other, but those who do are doomed to repeat painful relationship after painful relationship. Those who are grateful for the loss very often soon find someone else…someone so much better suited to them.   Or, they simply and truly love the solitude.

But this takes work.  It takes practice. Practice makes perfect. As my friend Pete says, “How does one get to Carnegie Hall – PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. This is a process that takes work, repetition, dedication, and a desire to create good in one’s life to share with others: To co-create with God! ”

But the rewards are nothing less than transformational.  The rewards for putting in the effort to search out the blessing in challenging situation, will change your vibration so that you will begin to attract more joyful, more prosperous, and more loving experiences.

I have a situation in my life right now that I am occasionally tempted to get overwhelmed with fear about.  Something that helps me stay focused on the higher picture and assures me that all is working out beautifully and that this will, indeed be such a tremendous blessing to me in the end, is to repeat the following…

“There is a Divine solution to this situation and it is appearing now, harmoniously and for the highest good for all concerned.”

More on this important topic tomorrow.

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My Gratitudes:

I’m grateful for finding a woman who does the best ever theraputic massage.  I’ve never experienced anything like this before.  I can turn my head in every direction with ease. Bless you Nancy Lee!

I am grateful for the perfect Divine solution to my situation. I know something wonderful is on it’s way.  This is a complete blessing for me.

I  am grateful my daughter made up with a girl she was fighting with for a long time.  I am grateful the love was felt more than the anger.  Love triumphed!

I am grateful for the time, energy and insight necessary to maintain this Gratitude Experiment site.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 43

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Continuing on the theme from the last post on practicing proactive gratitude with respect to  relationships and “difficult” people…

Often when we have an encounter with a “difficult” person, it brings up our anger, fear, resentment, sense of righteous indignation, and other strong emotions.  Strong “negative” emotions are always a signal to us…a signal that there’s something within us that’s unhealed. And, the encounter helps to bring it to the surface…and right in our face. 

For example, I find myself getting upset with people who behave like uncaring bureaucrats. Like some customer service personnel or government employees who apparently hate their jobs, and don’t really care about the customer’s needs. They’re simply answering the phones and following a script of responses to questions.   This just gets my blood boiling.  I think to myself, “why on earth would this person take a job where they have to deal with the public on any level?”

Okay, now I can (and have) felt very justified in my anger and end up slamming down the phone and screaming into it after I’ve hung up.  A lot of good this does, eh?  How about instead, I look at one of two things in myself…

A.) Where am I uncaring and unloving to others? Where do I brush people off and wish they’d just go away?   If I can see this in myself, I can bring it to the light for healing.  In this case the customer service person serves as a mirror to me.  He or she has held up a mirror so I can see how I do this and heal it.  Then perhaps I won’t need to attract that kind of person into my life anymore (and in fact, I have been encountering some amazingly friendly and helpful customer service people lately!)   So…I can be grateful for this person. They have, unknowingly, helped me heal!

or, B) This customer service person is showing me something in myself that feels not worthy of being treated well.  I can then ask myself, “What is it in me that feels unworthy of being treated with respect? Where in my childhood have I been ignored, dismissed and made to feel small and unimportant?”  Ahhh, there it is.  Then I can ask my higher self for guidance into that experience, or root of feeling unworthy. Now that I am aware of this, I can heal it.  Once it’s healed I no longer need to attract this kind of person into my life anymore.  And, a lot of other stuff will clear up as well!  So, can I be grateful for this customer service representative?  You betcha!  What a gift he or she has been to me.

Try this little experiement the next time you encounter someone who tries your patience and brings up your anger, fear, etc.  Let me know how it goes for you!

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My gratitudes for yesterday…

Ah, I’m grateful for the beautiful sunset last night.  They way the last bit of sun shone through the clouds and reflected such brilliant pinks and oranges.

I’m grateful for the fun time I had with my kids yesterday…just having an ice cream and helping them with their homework.

I am grateful for all the survivors that have been pulled from the rubble in Haiti…even a week later!

I am grateful for the compassion and opening of so many hearts, and the awareness of the need for healing in that part of the world.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 42

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We can also use gratitude to improve our relationships.  There’s the obvious use of gratitude in acknowledging our partner, children, family members or friends, and express to them verbally how much we appreciate them and whatever specific thing or quality we enjoy. Doing this never fails to encourage people to do more of whatever you appreciated. It also helps to lift their vibration and brings more love to the relationship.  There’s certainly no better way to get children to do what you want them to do, then by noticing and appreciating and heaping praise on them for those times they actually are behaving.

But, there’s also another use of gratitude that’s not so obvious…and admittedly, a little more difficult.  We all encounter people (family, friends and acquaintances) who are unpleasant or are just plain difficult.  It doesn’t come naturally to be grateful for them.  However, if we can take a moment and look a little deeper and notice that in this person’s heart is love. They’re just doing a good job of covering it up.  But, you play the detective…seek for that place of love within him or  her and then express gratitude for them (silently in your own heart.)  Focus on their true self. Focus on the love inside them…however buried it is…and give thanks for them.

You will be amazed at how quickly people will turn around and respond in kind. We are all connected and they will feel this love you’re sending their way on a deep, non-verbal level.

Try it today and tomorrow and let me know how it goes.

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I am grateful for Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his courage and commitment to peaceful protest. I am grateful for how he changed this country…and the world.

I am grateful for a family day and the opportunity to be together, relaxed and having fun.

I am grateful for the warmth of the sun shining today on this winter day.

I am grateful for seeing the new moon tonight and how it looked just like the smile of Cheshire Cat.