Continuing on the theme from the last post on practicing proactive gratitude with respect to  relationships and “difficult” people…

Often when we have an encounter with a “difficult” person, it brings up our anger, fear, resentment, sense of righteous indignation, and other strong emotions.  Strong “negative” emotions are always a signal to us…a signal that there’s something within us that’s unhealed. And, the encounter helps to bring it to the surface…and right in our face. 

For example, I find myself getting upset with people who behave like uncaring bureaucrats. Like some customer service personnel or government employees who apparently hate their jobs, and don’t really care about the customer’s needs. They’re simply answering the phones and following a script of responses to questions.   This just gets my blood boiling.  I think to myself, “why on earth would this person take a job where they have to deal with the public on any level?”

Okay, now I can (and have) felt very justified in my anger and end up slamming down the phone and screaming into it after I’ve hung up.  A lot of good this does, eh?  How about instead, I look at one of two things in myself…

A.) Where am I uncaring and unloving to others? Where do I brush people off and wish they’d just go away?   If I can see this in myself, I can bring it to the light for healing.  In this case the customer service person serves as a mirror to me.  He or she has held up a mirror so I can see how I do this and heal it.  Then perhaps I won’t need to attract that kind of person into my life anymore (and in fact, I have been encountering some amazingly friendly and helpful customer service people lately!)   So…I can be grateful for this person. They have, unknowingly, helped me heal!

or, B) This customer service person is showing me something in myself that feels not worthy of being treated well.  I can then ask myself, “What is it in me that feels unworthy of being treated with respect? Where in my childhood have I been ignored, dismissed and made to feel small and unimportant?”  Ahhh, there it is.  Then I can ask my higher self for guidance into that experience, or root of feeling unworthy. Now that I am aware of this, I can heal it.  Once it’s healed I no longer need to attract this kind of person into my life anymore.  And, a lot of other stuff will clear up as well!  So, can I be grateful for this customer service representative?  You betcha!  What a gift he or she has been to me.

Try this little experiement the next time you encounter someone who tries your patience and brings up your anger, fear, etc.  Let me know how it goes for you!

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My gratitudes for yesterday…

Ah, I’m grateful for the beautiful sunset last night.  They way the last bit of sun shone through the clouds and reflected such brilliant pinks and oranges.

I’m grateful for the fun time I had with my kids yesterday…just having an ice cream and helping them with their homework.

I am grateful for all the survivors that have been pulled from the rubble in Haiti…even a week later!

I am grateful for the compassion and opening of so many hearts, and the awareness of the need for healing in that part of the world.