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The Visionary Practice of Gratitude

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The following is a talk I gave at Unity Center of Peace on November 14, 2010.  For those who couldn’t make it, I’m posting it here:

One very cold day last November when I went for a run in the woods with my dog.  I was deep in thought about my life.  I couldn’t understand why, with all the meditation and imaging and affirmations and prayers that there were things that were not going well…at all.  I was having tremendous challenges with one of my children.  I wondered why my business was failing.  You probably know how this goes…one negative “woe-is-me” thought follows another.  I quickly became consumed by the idea that all life is unfair and my life stunk.  I was just considering turning back, when my dog stopped and sniffed at something for what seemed like an eternity.  Irritated at the idea of being forced to stop, I grumbled something, and then suddenly…I looked up and noticed it. 

The sun had broken through the clouds and appeared to be shining directly on one tree in a grassy patch.  This tree still had its leaves which had turned golden, and in the direct sunlight it positively glowed.  I stood there in amazement.  “What beauty!  What a gift this is!”  How could I dwell on all that appeared wrong in life when this miracle stood before me?  As I began to open to gratitude for this, a wave of love and gratitude flooded me and I felt like I was floating.  I felt so one with tree and with the forest.

I started to give thanks to the universe for the beauty of this site, and then gave thanks to my dog for stopping me so that I wouldn’t miss it.  I was grateful for the whole forest and for the opportunity to run in it that morning with my dog. Well, as it happens with gratitude, one gratitude led to another and then to another, and another.  This attitude of sudden gratitude started slipping into my

thoughts about my life and, before long, I began to realize my life was pretty darned blessed.  My thoughts turned to all the prosperity, love and well-being in my life.  A blast of energy rushed through my body and I was suddenly leaping over stones and roots. 

When I got back home I felt changed…perhaps forever.  Now mystical experiences are, by their very nature…fleeting.  It takes a commitment to practice in order to incorporate what we’ve experienced so that we may be transformed…in order for it to be the transformative event it was meant to be.

Thats when I decided to create this blog.  It kept me accountable to my gratitude practice and supporting others in their practice.

And we need the support because the temptation to complain…the temptation to look at what’s missing from our lives, what’s not going well, what’s wrong with our lives is so great.  We seem to be wired for it.  And then that gets reinforced by our friends, our community, and our media….advertisers…that’s how they sell products!  They make you feel like you’re a loser, and everything in your life is wrong…unless you have their products. 

Complaining can feel pretty good to do in the moment. Particularly when we feel justified. Ohhh, it feels so good to be right…to be justified in our complaint…we can find friends who will agree with us and complain right along with us, can’t we?

And, we have our little “pet peeves” you know.  Many of us actually “love to hate something.”  We get some sort of satisfaction and thrill out of our pet peeves that becomes almost an addictive “high” when we engage in them.   “You see, I told you she would do that…ohhhh, that really gets my goat.  I hate that when she does that.” Or, “This happens to me every time. I always get in the longest damn line, or behind the slowest driver.” Etc., etc.

Oh, but this complaining…this pet peeve stuff, comes at such a high price.

First, there’s the physical. A fair amount of scientific research has been done…most notably by a psychologist and professor at the UC, Davis, Dr. Robert Emmons, who has conducted studies with…a control group, a complaining group and a intentional gratitude group…that have shown that complainers, don’t sleep as well, are less engaged in life, and suffer more depression than either the control or the gratitude group.

His study indicates that “participants in the ‘gratitude group’ felt more joyful, enthusiastic, interested, attentive, energetic, excited, determined and strong” and were more likely to “offer others more emotional support or help” than the control group.   The gratitude participants reported sleeping better, had increased positive feelings and life satisfaction, and were 25% happier overall than before they began the experiment.   He believes that the practice of intentional gratitude may even prevent depression.  Other longitudinal studies have been done that show that complainers have more heart attacks and don’t live as long as those who are grateful.

Michael Beckwith tells us:  “the Universe doesn’t know the difference between what you love and what you hate, it only knows what you’re interested in.”  The Universe only knows what’s got your attention and what you’re emotionally caught up in.  The Universe “reads” the tone of your vibration and reflects back into your world more of the same.  This is why it may seem as if you are revisiting the same painful experience over and over.

When we really look at: current circumstances are temporary. The question is…will we continue to experience these same circumstances over and over?  We certainly will if we only look at how “awful” the situation is and bemoan it.  If we never look for the blessing within the challenge, or see it from a higher perspective.  We are doomed to repeat it.

It’s when we have the courage to open our heart and our minds and trust that something wonderful is on it’s way…that this situation could be just the thing that will propel our growth into a new plateau of joy and success.

 We know that sometimes the most amazing blessings come to us out of the most challenging experiences.  We’ve all heard stories of people who’ve worked at a company for years and relied on the steady paycheck, then suddenly the rug is pulled from underneath them and they’re layed off.  Those who focus on how horrible it is, and spend their energy blaming others are doomed to repeat it, or experience anger and frustration their whole life.  Then there are those with whom…this same event occurs…and they’ve chosen to see it as a blessing. They’re grateful for it happening because they can now pursue something they’ve always wanted to do.

The same goes for relationships that end.  It feels so painful and it’s so easy to blame the other, but those who do are doomed to repeat painful relationship after painful relationship. Those who are can find a blessing it in will usually find someone much better suited to them.   Or, they simply and truly love the solitude.

The experience can also teach us about forgiveness.  We can learn to forgive ourselves, our family and our friends.  What a blessing that is. Forgiveness frees us.

But this takes work.  It takes practice. Practice makes perfect.  A joyful process! Some days are more difficult than others to find things to be grateful for.  But, that’s where the real work comes in.  That’s when we need to “refresh the screen” of our minds and take a look at where our thinking has been leading us…where our focus has been.

When we do become aware that we’ve been focusing on what’ wrong with life, we can change it.

The good news is that we have a choice about how we perceive something.   We can choose to see any experience as a curse or a blessing. Think about an experience right now that you may consider a challenge…a big challenge.  Got it? 

Now right here in this moment, we can…

1) stop, take a few deep breaths and be willing to shift into another perspective.  It all starts with a willingness.

2) You can now open yourself up to the possibility that there may be something greater behind the current circumstance.  There may, in fact, be a blessing in it. 

3) Begin to claim that this blessing is making itself known to you.  And now,

4) Consciously, proactively find things around this issue that are in fact, a blessing.  Once you’ve noticed just one thing, you will soon notice another. You will begin to notice more and more things to be grateful for.  And before you know it, your whole consciousness is full gratitudes, you feel great, and your vibration is lifted.  And it is then that you begin to attract more experiences of joy, love, prosperity and well-being.

Sarah Ban Breathnach, who wrote the wildly successful, Simple Abundance said, “Both abundance and lack exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend…when we choose NOT to focus on what is missing–but are grateful for the abundance that is present—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on Earth.”

Consciously, actively tending the abundance garden is about practicing proactive gratitude. What is Proactive Gratitude?

So the three steps of proactive gratitude are…

1)    Actively search for things to be grateful for from the time you wake up. (check out Gratitude Mondays on this blog and on Facebook on Monday mornings.)

2)    Celebrate those things. Dance, sing, shout.  Allow yourself to enjoy it!

3)    Document it. It builds the evidence that we are cared for, that we are blessed, that we are loved.  The mind is always looking for evidence. Give it what it wants. By writing down what we are grateful for everyday, we build evidence that the Divine is present in our environment and that the universe is conspiring to support you. 

One of greatest benefits of practicing proactive gratitude is that you begin to realize that you live in a friendly universe that has created a magnificent world for you to enjoy.  You start to feel…deep down in your bones…that there is a force (whether you call it Creative Intelligence, the Infinite, God, or whatever) that loves you so much that It has given you…and continues to give you…more good than you can possibly imagine. Take it personally!  (My sunset experience)

After a while, the practice of proactive gratitude rewires the circuitry in your brain.

This is the place we want to get to in our practice of proactive gratitude.  We want to “know it in our bones.”   The Universe responds to our self-contemplation and intention.  When you feel that your life is blessed, and you are loved, then naturally you begin to feel worthy.  “Wow, I must be a pretty special person, I must be so beloved to have all these wonderful blessings given to me every day.  Hey, I must actually be worth it!” This is how we “sneak up on our worthiness.” 

This is a much more effective way to begin to accept our true worth then repeating positive affirmations to yourself all day…much more.  Positive affirmations are great, don’t get me wrong.  They have a place in our spiritual practice. But practicing proactive gratitude actually shifts the energy around our beliefs in our worthiness.

Rev. Michael Beckwith tell us : “You are to be grateful for everything in your life…not just the good stuff…but EVERYTHING.”   When I first heard that I thought, he must be speaking metaphorically or something   No, he actually meant everything. 

It’s easy to be grateful for the beautiful fall colors or a good meal or our spouse when there are loving or our health when we’ve got it, but not easy when things are not going our way!

But there is a deeper level on which we can take this message.  Beckwith went on to say that, “when we are grateful for everything, we are literally lifting our vibration…lifting it out of the realm of dense, physical form…out of the realm of ‘effect’ and into the vibration of ’cause’.”  

Okay, if we accept that everything is energy, and all things vibrate at a certain vibration…and that like vibration attracts that which is like itself…then this begins to make sense. 

Our experiences are, in fact, the ”effects” in our life.  It’s not who we are. Who we are is far greater than the experiences and circumstances of our life.  You are an expression of Life itself..of the Divine.  When you focus on this…you can be thankful for your life. When you are thankful for your life, you begin to feel better about yourself and about life in general. 

When you feel better about your life, your mind becomes clearer. You can begin to see solutions to certain challenges. You begin to get ideas about how you can change things. You  can also feel more compassion for myself and others.  You can love yourself more.  All of this lifts your vibration into the realm of “cause” from which all experience flows.  And the experiences that flow from this vibration are blessed indeed!

David Owen Ritz who created the Keys to the Kingdom class says, “When you feel a deep sense of gratitude, you are not just saying “thank you” to life for blessings you. You are actually focusing your creative energy and bringing it to bear on your life.”

In the book, The Science of Getting Rich, author Wallace Wattles devotes an entire chapter on gratitude because it’s essential in increasing prosperity.  He says, “Our gratitude liberates an energy within us that immediately expands into the formless substance, where it is instantly returned to us in kind.”

What does this mean to us? It means that we can be grateful in advance!  And the gratitude touches formless substance and creates future experiences.

Deepak Chopra is always talking about “the field of infinite possibilities.”   In Quantum Physics they tell us that the appearance of a subatomic particle depends upon your viewpoint…it’s a wave or it’s a particle…depends on the scientist viewpoint…the observers viewpoint.  The subatomic particles become whatever we expect them to be…

Am I a victim of circumstance or am I blessed beyond measure?  The little particles are forming themselves around your viewpoint.  If you start with the assumption that you are blessed, that an abundance of good is there for you now and will always be there for you…and your future is bright and limitless, you are choosing how those little particles going to form.  If you trust that you are Divinely guided to do whatever you need to do in the process, then that’s how the particles are forming.

If we can get to a place where we can be grateful that your vision is already complete in the mind of God…that, it is, in fact, already done…then the actual manifestation is just the details.

Ernest Holmes, a pioneer in the field of Law of Attraction, wrote in his masterwork, The Science of Mind, “Faith looks to the invisible, and instead of seeing a void, fastens it’s gaze on a solid reality.”

Gratitude and Shifting Old Patterns

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Once we discover what a positive impact the practice of gratitude can make in our lives, we tend to get excited about the practice which,  in turn, helps us remain motivated to continue…for a time.  Our gratitude practice has perhaps made us feel better, more uplifted and more joyful.  Perhaps we are more in love with the people in our lives, or our health is improving, or our days are more harmonious.  Life is good.

Then, after a few weeks or so, a dastardly thing happens…we begin to forget the very practice that has brought about this transformation and we neglect to practice.  We begin to slip back into our old patterns.  Perhaps we start complaining and focusing what’s wrong in our lives. Or, perhaps we begin to judge what should be and what shouldn’t be.   Soon our life begins to reflect our attitude…and there are suddenly more things to complain about.

Why does this happen?  Why would we drop a practice that has made such a huge difference in our lives?  It happens because we human beings are naturally more comfortable with our old attitudes and our old ways of looking at life.  It fits us like a comfortable old pair of sweats.  And we slip into them without thinking. Then, once they’re on, we can be reluctant to expand the energy to take them off and put on a clean outfit!  Even if our old attitudes make us unhappy, at least we feel normal…we feel like our old selves.  We may even rationalize that a transformational practice like proactive gratitude is nice when we remember to do it, but “we have to face reality.”  We completely forget that we create our reality by the way we look at life.

So how do we prevent this from happening?   If this is basic human nature, how do we make permanent change in our thinking and therefore our lives?  Here are a few tips that can sustain our commitment to  practicing proactive gratitude.

1. Get support.  Surround yourself with people who have a similar goal. If you need to make some new friends, then do it.  There’s lots of beautiful, positive people in the world who value personal growth.  Find them and befriend them.  You can also find groups on social networking sites (such as the gratitude community on Facebook) that share common a commitment. 

2. Set up reminders. You may want to post reminders to practice gratitude and stick them to your bathroom mirror, computer or dashboard.  For those of you who schedule your day in a planner, consider scheduling a block of time to reflect and focus on what you are grateful for that day.

3. Be accountable to someone. You might want to find a “gratitude buddy” with whom you can connect on a regular basis and share your experiences.  Or, you may prefer to work more formally with a life coach who will assure you stay accountable.

4. Reinforce the positive.  Acknowledge yourself for your commitment to practice…particularly when life gets a bit bumpy and it’s a challenge to find something to be grateful for.  Pat yourself on the back.  Congratulate yourself.  Reward yourself with something nice like relaxing with a cup of tea or buying flowers for yourself.

 Transformational practices by their very nature challenge us to follow a path that is, at times, uncomfortable.   Slipping back into familiar, safe patterns is expected.  Be gentle with yourself.  Love yourself through it.  And, by trying the suggestions here, you will rise above, grow in grace and realize your highest potential.

In the Spirit of Tolerance on 9/11/10

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In the spirit of tolerance this 9th anniversary of September 11th, and World Day of Prayer this week, I am posting James Twyman’s compellation of prayers of peace from the world’s 12 major religions (in no particular order.) It’s interesting to see how all people, no matter their religion, and even those who are decidedly unreligious (think John Lennon’s song, Imagine: “Imagine all the people living life in peace…”) deeply desire to feel inner peace, to love, and to live in a peaceful world.  If we could only focus more on our desire for peace more than our desire for revenge or fear…well, imagine what the world could be.

Jewish Prayer

Oh come let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, that we may walk the paths of the Most High. And we will beat our swords into ploughshares and our spears into pruning hooks.

Christian Prayer

Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who abuse you. Blessed be the Peacemakers, for they shall be called the Children of God.

Muslim Prayer

Praise be to the Lord of the Universe, who has created us and made us into tribes and nations that we may know each other, not despise each other.

Sikh Prayer

Know that we attain God when we love, and only that victory endures in consequence of which no one is defeated.

Native American Prayer

Give us the wisdom to teach our children to love, to respect and to be kind to one another, so that we may grow with peace in mind.

Buddhist Prayer

May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illnesses.  May all beings swiftly attain Buddhahood.

Hindu Prayer

Oh God, lead us from the unreal to the Real. Oh God, lead us from darkness to light. Oh God, lead us from death to immortality.  Shanti, Shanti Shanti, unto all.

Zoroastrian Prayer

We pray to God that understanding will triumph over ignorance, that generosity will triumph over indifference, that trust will triumph over contempt, and that truth will triumph over falsehood.

Jainist Prayer

Peace and universal love is the essence of all the Gospels. Forgive do I creatures all, and let all creatures forgive me.

Native African Prayer

You are the one who does not hesitate to respond to our call, you are the cornerstone of peace.

Shinto Prayer

We earnestly wish that the wind will soon puff away all the clouds hanging over the tops of the mountains.

Baha’i Prayer

Be a breath of life unto the body of humankind, a dew upon the soil of the human heart, and a fruit upon the tree of humility.

Scientific Proof Gratitude Works

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We here at the Gratitude Experiment are doing our own personal research to discover the power of practicing daily gratitude in our lives (and anyone can participate…click on the How to Participate tab.) We want to know if the practice can actually transform our lives. And those of you who have been practicing proactive gratitude for some time may have already proven to yourself that you are now happier, healthier, sleep better, have more fulfilling relationships, more fulfilling work, and your success and prosperity may have even increased.  Many have proven this to themselves.

But did you know that there has been a fair amount of scientific research already done to answer this same question?…most notably by a psychologist and professor at the University of California, Davis, Dr. Robert Emmons.

Emmons has published his studies in medical journals and in several textbooks.  Emmons theory is that, similar to our weight after dieting, our level of happiness has a certain “set-point” that it returns to shortly after any conditions or experiences that would bring about joy or sorrow.  He believes we are genetically coded to experience a certain level of happiness.  But, that this level can be positively and permanently altered by practicing intentional gratitude.

Results of his study indicate that “participants in the gratitude condition felt more joyful, enthusiastic, interested, attentive, energetic, excited, determined and strong” in addition to offering others more emotional support or help than the control group.   The gratitude participants reported sleeping better, had increased positive feelings and life satisfaction, and were 25% happier overall than before they began the experiment.   He believes that gratitude may lessen and even prevent depression.

How does the practice of intentional gratitude affect our physical well-being?  Well, a study done by psychologist Glen Affleck indicates that heart patients “who feel appreciative of life” after a heart attack have a reduced risk for subsequent attacks. And a study conducted at the Duke University Medical Center found that patients with significant arterial blockage were substantially less likely to say they count their blessings, and were encouraged to include the practice as a coping strategy.

Studies show that even our life span is positively affected by the practice to gratitude, and negatively affected by negative emotions…particularly depression and pessimism. A 35 year longitudinal study of male Harvard students found significantly less disease at midlife in the optimists than from their pessimistic counterparts.  And a study at the Mayo Clinic found that those who scored high on optimism had a 50% lower risk of premature death than those who scored as being more pessimistic.  (See previous blog post The Gratitude Experiment Day 57 on the subject of how the practice of gratitude relates to optimism.)

Hopefully there will be more studies done in the future on this often overlooked practice of gratitude and how extremely beneficial it can be to every area of our lives.  And if you have heard of any studies done in this area, please share them here with us.

In the meantime, we will be doing our own personal experiments with the practice of proactive gratitude, and reaping all the rewards!

Gratitude and Goal Achievement

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How does the practice of proactive gratitude help us achieve our goals and realize our intentions? The answer is indirectly, yet most definitely.

When we set our intention to achieve a specific goal or manifest some good in our life, whether that’s finding our perfect work, making a specific amount of money or simply being more loving, the practice of proactive gratitude is essential to our success.

We know that practicing gratitude helps us more fully enjoy our life as it is right now. It encourages us to want what we have. And that is the beauty of gratitude. Being fully present in our lives and enjoying the “now moment” is true living.  At the same time, the practice of gratitude also empowers us to realize our full potential – to expand our experience of good.  Nothing in life is stagnant.  It is the nature of the universe to expand and be more fully realized.

It’s a bit counter-intuitive, but yet so true, that if we are always dissatisfied with our life as it is, it makes it more difficult to move forward into a greater experience of good. Most people think dissatisfaction with their current circumstances is the motivation required to achieve something greater. But that’s not true, and here’s why…

When you are dissatisfied with something in your life, you are actively resisting what is. When you actively resist what is, your energy repels the good that is trying to get to you. Your focus is one pointed…toward what you don’t want…and you often miss opportunities that may be right in front of you. People, situations and events that could easily help you get closer to realizing your dreams, go unnoticed.

Being grateful for all that we have helps us remember how blessed we are. When we feel blessed, it is easier to accept that, in this ever expanding universe, there is more and more good just waiting for us, and more importantly…we feel worthy of it. This changes our energy into one of attracting more good, rather than repelling it. We begin to see opportunities and situations that could propel us closer to our goal. As we continue to practice daily proactive gratitude, synchronistic events begin to happen on a regular basis.  A way is made clear for us.

Something happened the other day that brought this into focus for me. I’ve been practicing proactive gratitude for almost a year now and have noticed my energy begin to shift. About two months ago I came up with an idea for a new collectible toy for tweens (with the help of my 11-year-old twins, naturally). I set my intention to develop the idea, create a prototype and license it to a major toy manufacturer to produce. For the last couple of weeks I’ve wondered how in the world I would ever even get in the door of any toy manufacturer. I know no one in that world. I’m not even sure how to proceed past writing a proposal and creating a prototype.  However, throughout the process I have remained in gratitude for 1) the idea, 2) the time to pursue the idea, 3) my kids, 4) the continuing inspiration and passion, 5) the encouragement of others and 6) all the synchronistic events that keep occurring, like this one…

The other day I felt compelled to completely clean out my office and reorganize everything. There were piles of paperwork, an overflowing bookcase and stacks of Lord knows what everywhere.  As I was relocated some of the books from the overflowing bookcase I noticed a big book that I have never seen before. I don’t even know how it got there.  I picked it up and read the title: The Toy and Game Inventor’s Handbook: Everything You Need to Know to Pitch, License and Cash-In on Your Ideas. Bingo! It is exactly what it says in the title, including contact information for 50 toy manufacturers and how to approach them. I never would have noticed it if I wasn’t compelled to reorganize my office (which, let me be honest, is not a common occurrance.)

I know that if I continue to remain in gratitude around this project, everything will fall into place just as it should for the realization of this big dream.  I know it because it’s happened before. It seems  that every good thing that’s manifested in my life was accompanied by a state of gratitude.

Prove it to yourself.  If there is a big goal in your life, some greater good you wish to realize, try this…

1.  Be grateful for where you are right now. Think of as many things as possible that are now, or could potentially be, a blessing in your life. 

2. Practice gratitude around your intention or goal.  From the idea, to the inspiration, to the energy you have, to your abilities, to the resources available to you, to your friends and associates who could assist you in some way.  Practice being grateful for these things, and more, on a daily basis.

3. Look for the synchronistic events that occur.  Acknowledge any and all steps forward toward your goal and celebrate them!

Let me know how it goes for you.

Many blessings!

The Optimistic Branch

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On a recent hike in the mountains, my husband and I came across a truly curious site.   At first glance it appeared to simply be a fallen tree, uprooted and lying quite dead on the forest floor, its roots jutting out sideways onto the trail.  But on second glance, we noticed that what we thought was a tree growing close behind, was in fact, a very large branch growing out of this same “dead” tree.  This branch was reaching up through all the other dead branches…and was very much alive.  It was not struggling to survive, it was clear that this branch was thriving….an abundance of brilliant green leaves dancing in the wind.

“How could this be,” we thought?  We inspected the tree a little more closely and discovered that a small portion of the root system…maybe 1/16th of it…was indeed still buried into the soil.

This branch refused to give up. It refused to accept whatever trauma had felled the tree, and simply affirmed its right to live and prosper. It was an example of the “optimism of nature” that Ralph Waldo Emerson talked about.  I can imagine a conversation between the tree and the branch, with the tree saying, “It’s over, we’re done for,” while the branch says, “oh, but look, there’s still a part of us connected to the earth, and look at the beautiful sun shining down on us.”  “I for one,” the branch continues, “am grateful for the life force which sustains me, the rain that feeds me, and sun which compels me to grow…woo-hoo…l’chiam…to life!”  And it grew and prospered.

From my perspective, this branch represents the part of us that refuses to be “felled” by life; the part of us that, despite past trauma and current challenges, despite setbacks and obstacles, has decided to instead look at the blessings in life and celebrate them.  It’s the eternal optimist…the grateful self within us.  And it is this “self” that…if we nurture it…will give rise to a rich and joyous life.  A life worth living.

Now, it seems that some people are born optimistic.  They just naturally wake up in the morning and notice the good, while others can’t seem to tear their attention away from what’s wrong with life.  But we can all cultivate an optimistic approach to life by (you guessed it) practicing proactive gratitude.  You cannot help being optimistic when you’re committed to searching out, documenting and celebrating the good that is in your life now.  The practice of proactive gratitude trains your brain to be optimistic.  It shifts your mind to automatically notice the blessings and to see and act on opportunities others miss.  It trains your whole being to vibrate with joyful expectancy.  And this vibration acts as a magnet drawing even more blessings into your life. 

If you are new to the practice or want to review the steps of proactive gratitude again, click here.  Then, think of the thriving branch growing out of apparent death and awaken your grateful, optimistic self.

Many blessings and l’chiam!

Recognizing the Power of Gratitude

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Have you ever looked back on your life and noticed that your practice of gratitude (however it was developed at the time) actually transformed something in your life, or directly attracted more of that for which you were grateful?

Have you ever noticed there is more harmony in a certain area of your life, or an abundance of something you’ve always found it easy to be grateful for?

Take a moment today to look back and see if you can discover the miraculous power of gratitude at work in your life.

For example, this morning I was sitting in my covered patio looking out and appreciating my backyard.  My yard literally backs up to a lush forest filled with birds, squirrels, deer, butterflies and other wildlife.  I began to think about how much I appreciate…and have always appreciated…being surrounded by nature and having a lovely backyard. I remembered my first backyard when my fiance and I rented a house together for the first time.

As a single adult, I had always lived in an apartment. Even as a child we always lived in an apartment. So my first house with a backyard was a huge treat!  We were living in one of those little 40’s bungalow-style houses in the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles with a postage stamp backyard, but I absolutely adored every square inch of it.  There were trees along the fence that gave us privacy.  There was even an apricot tree that I enjoyed watching bloom and come to fruition. I would try to pick the fruit before the squirrels got to them (I think I managed to salvage about 1/3 of  the apricots) and share it at the office. I even canned them one year in brandy and gave them as Christmas presents (the apricots, not the squirels ;-))

We also bought a hammock at one point and oh, how I loved lying in it and staring up at the sky, watching the clouds float past.  The backyard also allowed us the opportunity of having our first dog.  And boy, did she enjoy that backyard!  She would run around and around in circles until she pooped out.  I even grew tomatoes for the first time in my life.  All the while, I was grateful for every aspect of having a backyard.

Universal law states that we attract to ourselves more of that for which we are grateful, right? Well, it was certainly proven in this case.  Each successive house we lived in after that little one had a more expansive and verdant backyard.  This is our third, and by far the most amazing.  It simply just occurred that the houses that were available for sale, and in our price range, happened to have an amazing backyard.  Coincidence? I don’t think so.  It is, in fact, the natural outcome of the practice of proactive gratitude.

I have also noticed a common theme on our Gratitude Experiment community on Facebook .  And that is, that many people are grateful for their friends.  And it seems the more grateful they are for them the more and more amazing friends seem to come into their lives.  This is true for every area of our lives where we find it easy to be grateful.  And the areas we find difficult to be grateful for are usually the areas that are more challenging and limited. (I will address that aspect, and how to transform that experience in a future blog.  Stay tuned.)

So now it’s your turn.  Look at the area or areas of your life where you have historically found it easy to be grateful.  Have you noticed this part of your life expanding, multiplying, or attracting more good?  

Looking forward to reading about your experience!

“Where the Angels Hang Out”

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I was driving my kids and a friend of theirs back from the pool after it had just been closed due to an approaching electrical storm.  As we drove along, we were all looking up and marveling at the huge plumes of puffy dark clouds overhead.  That’s when we noticed that, in the middle of the storm clouds, there was a small opening of blue sky where sun was peeking out.  My daughter said, “oh look, that’s where the angels hang out!”  Now, I don’t know where she heard this, I certainly never told her this.  But it was so sweet the way she said it so matter-of-factly.  Well, it was as if the whole car lit up.  We talked about how fun it would be to fly a plane right through the opening and up above the clouds where the sun always shines…and maybe even hang out with the angels. Suddenly the disappointment of having to leave a fun swim day disappeared, and we were on to what fun thing we would do next.

It occurred to me later that noticing that little opening in the midst of temporary storm clouds, and contemplating the sun shining on the other side, was a lot like our practice of proactive gratitude.  Our lives can be full of stormy relationships, financial and employment turmoil or health concerns, but our willingness to look for that little patch of blue sky and celebrate it when we find it, can turn our whole experience around.  Relationship, financial and health difficulties are temporary experiences.  The changeless infinite good always exists on the other side of these experiences.  We can’t always see this, for the infinite good is often obscured by the clouds of human experience. 

So, what can help us get to the other side where “the angels hang out?”  You guessed it…gratitude.  Proactive gratitude helps us focus our attention on that one spot of bright light and, if we are willing to embrace that, and continue to give our focus to that, it begins to grow.  Temporary storm clouds then begin to move off and changeless good shines brighter and brighter into more and more areas of our life.

The next time you see storm clouds in the sky, let it remind you to look for the spot of clear sky…the area you can honestly be grateful for…and give it your full attention. Then watch as stormy conditions in your life begin to blow away.

Opening a Way

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In his poem from Paracelsus, Robert Browning says in no uncertain terms that pure Truth and pure beauty lie within us.  It is not something we acquire or could even lack for.  It’s inherent in our very being.

“Truth is within ourselves; it takes no rise
From outward things, whate’er you may believe.
There is an inmost center in us all,
Where truth abides in fullness; and around,
Wall upon wall, the gross flesh hems it in,
This perfect, clear perception which is truth.
A baffling and perverting carnal mesh
Binds it, and makes all error: and to KNOW,
Rather consists of opening out a way
Whence the imprisoned splendor may escape,
Than in effecting entry for a light
Supposed to be without.”

He also makes it clear that our physical human self does a good job of obscuring this truth and we must find a way to open up an avenue through which it can express.  We must find an opening for this truth so that we may have an expanded experience of life.

What is this “truth” Browning is talking about?  Who’s truth?  Universal truth?  We can all take something different from this poem, and please share your thoughts on this by commenting on this blog. 

For me, the truth he’s mentioning here is another word for the Divine…or the awareness of our divinity with all the divine qualities present in their fullness.  The synonyms he uses such as “light” “perfect, pure” and “splendor” are keys for my interpretation.     

So assuming this is correct, how do we open out a way whence this imprisoned splendor may escape, and realize our divinity?  He doesn’t give us a clue for that.  I think the method is different for each of us, but there are common techniques that have worked for so many of us.

Number one is meditation.   Meditation creates an opening within us with which to experience a part of ourselves that is not perceived by our five senses, or analyzed by our rational thinking.   In fact, when we close off our five senses and transcend this “baffling and perverting carnal mesh” for a time, we are, in effect, welcoming the invisible, the unformed, the spiritual. 

Another way to “open out a way” (and this should come as no surprise to readers of this blog) is by practicing proactive gratitude.  When we focus our attention on the good, the beautiful, the abundant, and the blessings in our lives, we place ourselves in alignment with truth.  We (perhaps unconsciously) unify with the good all around us and it resonates with that place within us where the divine resides.

Both of these methods awaken that “imprisoned splendor” within us.  Then, by shining this light into our world and sharing our love, we effectively release the divine into our lives and into our world.

10 Reasons Why You Need to Take a Vacation Now

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Many of us (myself included) have some degree of difficulty leaving our work behind, letting go and allowing ourselves to have a real vacation.  I know many people who are employed, have paid vacation time available to them, and still don’t take it.  It just keeps accruing.  Then, those of us who have a business, or are self-employed in some capacity, feel that if we took time off, our business would suffer.  We fear that we’d fall too far behind and/or lose clients and customers to competitors who are out there marketing 24/7, 365 days a year.  

Even when we do manage to get away, how many of us take our computers and business cell phones with us and spend a great deal of that vacation actually working?  We just can’t seem to let it go.  Now I know for many of us, the fact is that we love our work.  It’s deeply fulfilling and at times exciting.  We don’t want to let go of something we love so much and embrace the “unknown”.

I’ve recently come to see the errors of my ways.  On a recent week-long family vacation, I took my computer and worked the first few days for at least 3 hours of the day (my husband, by the way, did as well, while our kids basically vegged in front of the TV.)  However, after a few days of adjusting to a different environment, enjoying doing different things with our kids, and absorbing the deep peace around me, I felt my vibration begin to shift.   For one, it became easier to remain in a state of gratitude, and that in itself lifted me up to a place where I could allow in the benefits of a true vacation.  I’ve outlined them below briefly.  This is by no means a complete list.  So, please feel free to add to this list, and share with us the benefits you have derived from allowing yourself to enjoy a true vacation.

1.    Seeing life from a new perspective.  You are no longer surrounded by the familiar.  Particularly if you go someplace new, it takes a while to “get your bearings.” You are forced to let things go and let life flow. This is a good thing.  Letting life take us on an adventure allows us to loosen our control, loosen our grip on how things “should” be.  We begin to take in a different perspective on our relationships, our body, our environment and perhaps even our business.  We are open to new and perhaps innovative ideas.  (And yes, you can bring along a little notebook or journal to jot down some of these new ideas.  You’ll have time to flesh them out when you get back.)

2.  Breaking up the routine.  We are all creatures of habit. How easily we slip into routine. We get comfortable being in the same house, taking the same route to work, the grocery store, or our kids’ activities.  It may be boring, but it’s familiar. We can get complacent in our relationships and our work doing things the same way.   It’s good to break that up once in a while and try something new.  You never know what wonderful new thing you can learn by breaking with routine.  You never know how expanded your life could be until you break it up and try something new.

3.    Reconnecting with your spouse, children, family, friends and/or your Self.  Whoever you choose to go on a vacation with (even if you choose to go alone) you have the opportunity of getting to know those close to you better and to appreciate them more.   Particularly within our family, we have duties, responsibilities and a busy life attending to so much that we don’t normally take the time to really “see” those around us.  On vacation we may suddenly notice how resourceful our spouse is, for example, or how creative our children are, or how beautiful we truly are.  We now have the opportunity to observe and enjoy. We also have the time to talk, clear the air and resolve issues.   This can be tricky of course, but if we resolve to approach these opportunities from a place of love we can discover a new, deeper dimension to our relationships.

4.    Healing the mind and body.  Vacations are a great time to unwind and allow yourself to slip into deep relaxation.   Our bodies serve us well. It supports us while we share our unique gifts in the world.  We’d kind of be lost without it. The better we take care of our bodies, the longer it can serve us.  Deep relaxation is a powerful healing force that improves our immune system, and acts as a healing balm in every cell and function of our body.  Make sure your vacation allows for periods of deep relaxation.

5.    Hearing another voice besides the ego.  Sometime we get so wrapped up in doing things our way.  We believe our way is right because we have done it that way for so long and it works to some degree.  On vacation, we have the opportunity of relaxing our ego and hearing other voices, other possibilities, about how things could be done.  Often these new ideas can make a quantum difference in our business and our lives.

6.    A sense of timelessness.   Vacations, particularly if you resist the temptation to book yourself every moment of the day on tours or activities (and I’d highly recommend you do resist that temptation), you can benefit from a sense of timelessness.  We get so trapped in time.  How many times a day do you check your watch,  cell phone or clock and realize you need to hurry it up or rush off to make it somewhere on time.  Is that not exhausting and stressful?  A vacation is your chance to let that go and realize there is more to life than following the dictates of the clock.  It’s amazing how long the day and evening really can be when we’re in the moment, just enjoying.  If you ever question the benefits of being in the present moment, read one of Eckhart Tolle’s books.  It’s truly life transforming.

7.    Discovering skills you never knew you had.  Who knew I could learn to windsurf at my age, and do it pretty well?  I didn’t until my daughter said she wanted to try windsurfing, and I went along for the ride.  Do you have talent you never knew you had, like rock climbing, sailing, kayaking, scuba diving or speaking a foreign language?  You’ll never know till you try. Vacations give you a perfect opportunity to do just that.  You’ll feel pretty good about yourself just for even trying, and who knows…you may discover a life-long passion.

8.    Connecting with Nature.  Particularly if your vacation includes being in nature, you have the opportunity to benefit from connection to Source.  The same life force that created you also creates and sustains trees, flowers, water and mountains. One of my favorite poems by the Indian poet Tagore, goes like this, “The same stream of life that runs through the world runs through my veins night and day and dances in rhythmic measure…It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth into numberless blades of grass, and breaks into tumultuous waves of flowers.”   How healing would it be to meditate on that for a minute while you are in nature?

9.    The opportunity to play and enjoy.  You’ve hopefully picked a vacation you will enjoy.  And, although stuff happens on a vacation and things don’t always go as you planned (sometimes a good thing!), the opportunity to play and enjoy is a prime motivating factor for going in the first place.   Playing increases our creativity.  And creativity is essential to our work and our relationships.  Joy is a similar energy to gratitude. They are both energies that enhance your immune system, improve your relationships and attract more good into every area of your life.  Allow yourself to play.  Revel in joy. Soak it in. Celebrate it!

10.    Enhancing gratitude.  Lastly, but certainly not least, vacations make it easier to practice proactive gratitude.  If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you know how essential a practice of gratitude can be and how it can transform your life.  When we are out of our routine, seeing and experiencing new things, it’s so much easier to appreciate.  We can appreciate the beauty around us, the time we have to share with our friends or family, the peace we feel, a new food or a new experience.  The list can go on.   A good way to begin a practice of proactive gratitude is to jump start it on vacation, then when you get back home, visit the Gratitude Experiment site often to support what you’ve begun.

 Now it’s your turn. Share with us how a vacation has benefited you in a particular way.