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Gratitude Experiment: Day 58

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This weekend, I had the privilege of seeing a documentary and hearing the producer/director, Doug Collins, speak afterwards and conduct a little mini-workshop with us in the audience. The film is called Laughology. It’s an exploration of how pure, unconditional laughter is a cure for the “common disease of seriousness.”  The therapeutic benefits of laughter are now well documented. But back in Victorian times, it was believed that laughter could actually drive one insane. And, puritanical religions believed it the work of the devil. 

Fortunately, we no longer suffer from these beliefs. But, laughter is not always welcomed in our “serious-minded” society either. After seeing this film, I want to open up to include much more laughter in my life.  After all, babies laugh. All babies laugh.  All kids laugh.  As we get older though, we learn to pretty much stifle our laughter and “grow up and get serious.”  Anyone remember having a fit of uncontrollable laughter in elementary school?   Got you in trouble, didn’t it?    Yeah, we learn to stifle this endorphin-releasing, blood-vessel-opening, heart and gut-massaging natural instinct pretty well. That is, unless we’re at a proper place like a comedy club.  Then, it’s okay.  But, we’ve stifled it for so long that, for most of us, laughter doesn’t come very easily.  How sad is that?

Mr. Collins’ point is that anyone can learn to rebuild their laughing muscles through exercises designed to help you laugh unconditionally…like Laughter Yoga.  Or, just being aware of the humor all around us and allowing ourselves to laugh out-loud more often…with our family, our friends, or anything that might tickle our fancy. 

We all could stand to just let go and enjoy life more.  Our practice of proactive gratitude helps with that as well.  The more we notice what’s right in our world and how much there is to be thankful for, the less serious and worried we are…and naturally…the easier it is to laugh. 

To see some clips from the film, go to:

http://laughology.info/Laughology/Trailers.html

And if you want something to help jump start your laughter, watch this YouTube video.  I dare you to keep a straight face! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p32OC97aNqc

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Today I am grateful for the laughter in my life.

I am grateful for babies.

I am grateful for my daughter and how wonderful she is around little kids. It truly brings out the best in her.

I am grateful for the visit from old friends.

I am grateful for the extra sunlight that our new skylights bring into our home.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 57

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Today I want to continue with the idea from the last post.  This idea of finding the good in situations that irritate us…and then having the experience completely turn around for us…is very much like playing the “Glad Game.” Remember that from the 1920’s book and ’60’s Disney movie, Pollyanna, staring Hayley Mills? 

 Just in case you’ve forgotten, Pollyanna had a somewhat challenging life. As an orphan, she was sent to live with a excessively stern Aunt and locked up in an attic room, fed only bread and milk, and eventually is run over by a motorcar, losing the use of her legs.  And yet, Pollyanna refuses to let anything get her down and looks for the blessing in everything by playing a game her father taught her, called the “glad game.”  Her undying optimism has an effect on everyone in the town, turning it around and eventually even begins to thaw the frigid, unpleasant Aunt Polly who learns to see the light and find happiness with an old beau. Oh, and at the end…she learns to walk again.

Even if you aren’t familiar with the book or movie you’ve no doubt heard the word Pollyannaish used pejoratively to describe someone who refuses to look at what’s wrong or see the seriousness of things.  “Oh, don’t be such a Pollyanna!”  We think of her as a goodie-two-shoes who “just doesn’t get it.” 

But actually Pollyanna represents the age-old archetype of the eternal optimist.  My definition of an optimist is someone who sees possibility…who see an open window…where a pessimist sees only a closed door. An optimist is open to finding solutions where the pessimist has given up a long time ago.  In the story, it was Pollyanna alone whose refusal to give up, and instead find the good in everything, that turns an entire town around.  And it’s a “Pollyannaish” attitude that can turn your life around…and perhaps those around you as well. 

Which one are you…an optimist or a pessimist?  A Pollyanna or bitter Aunt Polly?  Like Pollyanna, playing the Glad Game can help turn you into a possibility thinker…a joyful person…and completely transform your life.  Give it a try.  Let’s play the Glad Game together.

What are you grateful for right now?  Even those things that, at the moment, seem to be an annoyance, or even a challenge.  See if there is anything there you can be thankful for.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 56

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Our barking dog.  Our kid’s obstinacy.  Our spouse’s excessive tidiness.  A strict boss or teacher.  Some things in life we find irritating or annoying.  They become the complaints of our life. 

However, these same annoyances (and many, many more) begin to change once we look at them from a perspective of gratitude.  Here’s what I mean…

When we’re grateful for our dog, we can see that he barks because he’s trying to protect us and our home.  He’s doing “his job.”  Good dog.

When we’re grateful for our child, “warts and all” her stubbornness is an indication that she’s growing into an assertive young lady. She’s not going to let anyone bully her or walk all over her.  In addition, she’ll accomplish what she sets out to do.  What a relief that will be for us.

A spouse’s excessive tidiness.  Okay this is my issue.  My husband has what call the “H&G fear.” Fear that House and Gardens Magazine is going to walk in at any moment and start taking pictures. So everything has to be neat, put away and showcase perfect.  Raising kids is a challenge in this kind of environment, as you can imagine.  But, when I look at him through the eyes of gratitude, I’m thankful that I don’t live with a slob. Our house always looks great. I never have to wash the dishes (they’re washed, dried and put away before I can get up off the couch :-)) How great is that?

A strict boss or teacher may be annoying or intimidating. But seen through the eyes of gratitude he or she is calling forth our excellence. He or she is helping us be the best we can be, as well as helping the organization run more smoothly.

Okay, now it’s your turn.  Try it. Take an issue that, at the moment is a source of annoyance.  Then, take a few moments to turn it around. Be grateful for him, her or it.  Then see if you can’t find the blessing hidden there.

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Today, I’m grateful for work that is fun and fulfilling.

I am grateful for the box of Valentine’s chocolates that I forgot I hid…and just remembered!

I am grateful for the opportunity to see amazing theater this weekend.

I am grateful for the beautiful songs of the birds in my yard which were unusually active this morning.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 55

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One of the most powerful things that gratitude does for us…is that it opens our hearts.  When we practice proactive gratitude we open ourselves to experience more love:  more love for things and experiences in our lives, more love for others, more love for our planet and more love for ourselves.  Experiencing more love in all these areas of what life is about. It’s where we want to be. It’s who we want to be.  It’s our essential nature.  It’s an attractive energy that draws more and more good toward us.  It is also where some of us get stuck. 

Why do we get stuck? Why wouldn’t we want to experience more love in all of these areas?  Ah, why indeed?  I think it’s because most of us have, through painful experiences in our past, built walls around our heart.  We don’t want to leave our heart’s too open…we’ll be too vulnerable.  We might experience that pain again.  Uh oh. That pain of rejection, or disappointment, or events that don’t seem to make any sense. And so we’ve built up a defensive border as a precaution.  To protect ourselves.

Somewhere a little voice inside says, “you can practice gratitude and open up to love…but only up to a point. Don’t go too far.  Don’t leave yourself vulnerable.”  This is below the level of our conscious mind, of course.  That voice doesn’t really want you to hear it, or you might see what it’s doing and attack it with reason.  And so what it does is…causes us to lose our focus on gratitude little by little.  We kinda forget to practice gratitude one day, and then the next, and then suddenly it’s gone and it didn’t seem that important anyway.  Our minds and hearts fill back up with judgment and resentment and noticing what’s wrong with our life.  Suddenly we’re miserable again and we don’t know what happened.

Now that you know, you have a choice. Are you going to let that little voice prevent you from experiencing the life you really want to live…a life of love and joy, attracting more prosperity and success?  Or, are you going to stand up and say, “Hey, wait a minute.  Love is my essential nature. Love feels good.  Yes, I may experience rejection or disappointment. So what?  There is so much good in the world, there is so much possibility and opportunity around me, I can attract more.  But I won’t if my heart is closed. So, I’m choosing to keep my heart open. I’m choosing to practice gratitude on a daily basis and allow it to open my heart even further.”

It’s your choice. You are in charge.  Don’t let that little voice divert you from your commitment.  And you know you can always get support for your practice here at The Gratitude Experiment.  Bookmark this site.  Click the RSS Feed button. Check in everyday and get inspired to practice more gratitude and experience more love everyday.

Blessings.

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I am grateful for the skylights that are being put in today…how wonderful to have all that light!  How beautiful the sky is!

I am grateful for my immune system and how healthy I’ve been for quite awhile.

I am grateful for new opportunities to express more of my talents.

I am grateful for loving support from the members of PT.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 54

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A common theme that I see here at The Gratitude Experiment is gratitude for friends and family.  It’s so wonderful to see people expressing their appreciation, at least in their gratitude practice…and, hopefully, directly to those family member and friends.  Nothing makes a relationship blossom more than appreciation.  So make sure you do verbalize your appreciation directly.

Loving and supportive friends and family members are invaluable.  The key words here are “loving and supportive.”   I’m sure most of us have family members who are anything but.  While it’s true that “we can’t pick our family members” we can certainly pick how much time we hang around them (unless the person in question happens to be your spouse, in which case, there’s a different issue here.)  For the most part, we have a choice about who we spend our time with.  And, if we find ourselves hanging around listening  to a sibling, relative or friend criticize us, or give us a list of reasons why we will never realize our dreams, then it’s time hang up the phone and get new friends.

As my friend, Rhonda Britten says, “there are lots of healthy people out there…always have been, but it wasn’t until I got healthy did I notice them.”  When we’re practicing proactive gratitude and other skills that aid our personal growth, we’ll begin to notice those people who are loving, generous, supportive and who want to be our friend. 

When we find them, let’s appreciate them. Let’s continue to add them to our list of daily gratitudes. For indeed, a good, supportive friend is one of the most valuable assets in life. 

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Today I am grateful for my dear friend, Rhonda, who is the most generous, supportive woman I know…and the way she lives her life is a true inspiration to me.

I am grateful for the brand new daffodile shoots that just appeared in our backyard.  The first sign that Spring is on the way!

I am grateful for the flexibility in my fingers, and how fast they can move over the keyboard. How strong, yet how delicate fingers are!

I am grateful for the  purchase deal that is moving forward and progressing in a better direction that I even thought possible!

Gratitude Experiment: Day 53

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Today I’m considering being thankful for something that hasn’t yet happened.  In fact, I am committed to expressing gratitude for something that I have no rational, direct knowledge about how it’s going to turn out. I’m taking a great leap of faith.  Why?

Because I have a choice. I could choose to worry and fret about how this situation is going to turn out. I could focus on the worse possible scenario.  Ever done that before?  Yeah, me too.  Doesn’t feel good does it? And, it rarely ever turns out as bad as you imagined. But you’ve wasted so much energy and precious life worrying about something that will never come to pass.  Or, even if it does, it’s usually not nearly as horrible as you pictured it.  You got through it somehow, right? And maybe it turned out really well.

So I’m going to take a different approach today.  I’m going to choose to focus on the best possible outcome for all concerned.   As Deepak Chopra says, “we live in a universe of all possibilities.”  We can chose the possibility that we are supported by a universe that loves and cares for us.  We can choose the possibility that the universe responds to our energy and reflects into our life circumstances that reflect our core beliefs.  In fact, we have the capacity to co-create our lives.

That’s what I’m choosing today.  I’m choosing to rejoice that the best possible outcome is now occuring for all concerned. I’m choosing to trust the Divine Life-Force that provides abundantly for all life forms.  When I do, I am aligning myself with the energy of abundance, joy, well-being and harmony.  That’s the energy that I want to co-create my life from.

Try it.  Think about something that you have no idea how it’s going to turn out. Something that normally would cause you to worry and fret about.  Now, make a conscious choice to be grateful for the wonderful outcome that is happening for you and all concerned.  Choose to see the perfect outcome.  Choose to live in the energy of rejoicing and gratitude.  Choose to trust that the universe loves you and provides abundantly for you.  Let yourself feel it.   Feel that you are a giant magnet pulling toward you this wonderful outcome.  Then, let go, and go about your day focusing on all the wonderful things…big and small… that have already manifested in your life.

As always, let me know how it goes.

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Today I am grateful that I am now receiving an offer of over $10,000 for my entire inventory of parenting books from an appreciative source who can get them out to bless the lives of many other moms.

I am grateful for the wonderful visit of a dear old friend I haven’t seen in a long time.

I am grateful that my kids are having a wonderful day at school.

I am grateful for the fact that I have choice and I am a co-creator in my life.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 52

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Ahh, Valentine’s Day.    The mere mention of the word sends waves of excitement, love and lust through some of us and waves of depression through others.  Which one we experience seems dependent on whether we have a new boyfriend, girlfriend or a loving spouse in our lives at the moment or not.  But, does the way we feel this day have to be dependent on another human being? 

Maybe we can open up the possibility of having Valentine’s Day be about the celebration of everything we love. Maybe we can have it be a celebration of the all love in our lives and…the love that exists in our hearts. 

And we can start (as in all things) with gratitude.  We can start by being grateful that we have the capacity to love, period.  Love is more than an emotion. It’s the life force from which we were created.  We were created not just by intelligence, but love-intelligence.  And when we open up and allow love to fill our hearts and express it in our world, we are more completely aligned with this life-force.

In addition, feeling grateful for the people and things in our lives, expands our capacity of love.  Whether it’s our spouse, our children, our family, our pet, or a house plant…when we are grateful for them, our heart expands.  We feel more love.  We also increase the amount that we allow ourselves to be loved.

And, if you happen to have a significant other at the moment, the one thing guaranteed to grow that love is to openly express your gratitude for them.  People crave acknowledgement and recognition for who they are and what they bring to the relationship.  Very often what your significant other is waiting for is for you to recognize and appreciate them.   If they don’t get it, they might not be around next Valentine’s Day.  So, take this opportunity to tell him what you love about him. What qualities do you love specifically? What does she do that helps make your life easier or more enjoyable?  What things does he or she do that you’ve been taking for granted, but if he or she weren’t there, you’d surely miss it.  Tell him or her today and observe the love expand between you two.  This of course also applies to our children, or friends and our family.

May you have the most blessed and love-expanding Valentine’s Day!

Gratitude Experiment: Day 51

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I remember hearing a few years ago a sermon that Rev. Michael Beckwith gave at Agape where he said, “You are to be grateful for everything in your life…not just the good stuff…but EVERYTHING.”   When I first heard that I thought, he must be speaking metaphorically or something. Because, how could we be grateful for illness, relationship trouble, failure, lack, etc.?   No, he really meant everything. 

Well, we know that sometimes the most amazing blessings come to us out of the most challenging experiences.  At the very least, we’ve learned a lesson. We’ll never make that mistake again, right?  We can also learn more about forgiveness.  We can learn to forgive ourselves, our family and our friends.  What a blessing that is. Forgiveness frees us.

But there is a deeper level on which we can take this message.  Beckwith went on to say that, “when we are grateful for everything, we are literally lifting our vibration…lifting it out of the realm of dense, physical form…out of the realm of ‘effect’ and into the the vibration of ’cause’.”  

Okay, if we accept that everything is energy, and all things vibrate at a certain vibration…and that like vibration attracts that which is like itself, then this begins to make sense.  In other words, if I am focusing on how bad my current experience is, this causes me to feel pretty bad about myself, other people, and life in general.  I am now vibrating at a level that will…if I don’t change it…attract more challenging experiences to me.

But, how do I change it?   I can begin to change my vibration by shifting my perception.   I can shift my perception to a place where I understand that these challenging circumstances and experiences are, in fact, “effects” in my life.  It’s not who I am. Who I am is far greater than the experiences and circumstances of my life.  I am an expression of Life itself.  When I focus on this…I can be thankful for my life. When I am thankful for my life, I begin to feel better about myself and about life in general. 

When I feel better about these my life, my mind becomes clearer. I can begin to see solutions to certain challenges. I begin to get ideas about how I can change things.  I can also feel more compassion for myself and others.  I can love myself more.  All of this lifts my vibration into the realm of “cause” from which my experience flows.  And the experiences that flow from this vibration are blessed indeed.

What do you think?  Do you think it’s possible to be grateful for everything?  Can you honestly be grateful for everything? Share your thoughts by commenting here.

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Today I am grateful for the experiences in my life that have led me to this point…I am open and available to Spirit to move through me.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 50

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So let’s take one piece of the section from the last blog and talk about exactly how the practice of gratitude would help, in a practical way, allieviate a common problem…

64 million Americans suffer regularly from insomnia each year.  Most Americans suffer from insomnia at one time or another in their lives.  I’ve suffered from insomnia. It’s terrible not being able to go to sleep especially when you know you have to get up early and you have a big day in front of you. 

I remember the toughest thing was that I could not turn off my mind. I kept mulling over all the things that were left undone, or what I may have said wrong, or what someone else did to me.  One thought led to another and to another and, before I knew it, I was wide awake laying in a pool of sweat.

In addition to making some nutritional adjustments, (like cutting out sugar and caffeine at night and adding supplements) the biggest piece of the puzzle that helped me…and continues to help me…is that old fashioned advice about counting your blessings instead of sheep.  (Click here to hear the old crooner sing that fabulous old song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RQ98Fj_CFI )

Bing was right.  Counting…or focusing on…what’s good in our lives puts our mind at ease.  We begin to feel like our life is good…that the universe is smiling on us and all is well.  That feeling allows us to relax the troubles of the day, so that we can relax and fall asleep.

So try it tonight.  While you are getting ready for bed, start making a list in your head of the things for which you are grateful for that day.  And then, continue focusing on the good in your life as you climb into bed and lay your head down on your pillow.  Keep going with the gratitude.  It could be the littlest thing…the softness of your pillow, the warmth of your blanket, the fact that your kids are safe in their beds…or perhaps the fact that you have a roof over your head and a warm, dry place to sleep in at night.

As always, let me know how it goes…

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I am grateful for the day I got to spend one-on-one with one of my daughters yesterday. How good it is to connect on that level.

I am grateful for the  new friend my daughter is making.

I am grateful for technology and the opportunity to share my understanding and experience in this way.

I am grateful the stars tonight and how brightly they shine.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 49

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So maybe you’re not buying the idea that focusing on what you are grateful for…attracts more good to be grateful for.  Let’s just go with that for now.  Even if it were not true that the practice of proactive gratitude multiplies your blessings, does that mean it’s not a worthwhile practice?   Well, let’s look at it from a practical standpoint.

When you are presently focusing on those things you are grateful for, you feel pretty good don’t you?  Try it right now.  Think about something you’re grateful for.  How are you feeling?  Do you feel your heart opening a little? Is there a little smile that’s beginning to appear on your face? Do you feel more relaxed? Do you feel almost…cared for…like the universe is being good to you?

Now let’s focus on something really horrible for a moment. Pick something in your life that really stinks.  Got it?  How are you feeling now?  Is there a heaviness around your shoulders?  Do you feel yourself sinking further down into your chair?  What about that smile…has it gone south?  Do you feel like a huge burden is weighing you down? Does it feel like you can’t catch a break in this area…that the world is random and doesn’t care about you?

I’m not suggesting that you never look at your challenges.  You need to, of course…but you don’t need to wallow in them.  And, after practicing proactive gratitude for a time, you will be amazed at how much more quickly and easily an answer to your challenges becomes.  That, or if it’s something you cannot change, you will be more at peace with it.

And, still speaking practically for a moment, because the practice of proactive gratitude puts you in a positive frame of mind and causes you to feel good, that has positive repercussions on your health.  In a study done by Dr. Robert Emmons in 2003 it was  proven that people who have practice of gratitude have increase immune system functioning.  They sleep better. There’s a  lowering of 10%  in blood pressure.  And, they are 25% happier.  So, just on a physical aspect alone, incorporating a practice of gratitude in your life…just might save it.

In addition, think about the people who you are attracted to for a moment.  Do you like hanging out with people who are negative; who always complain about this and that; who like to blame other people or institutions for their misery?  My guess is that you really don’t.  I’m guessing you are more attracted to people who tend to be in a more positive frame of mind; who are optimistic and forward thinking; who are genuinely delighted by life.  Does that describe you?  If so, you’re probably the kind of person people like to hang with. You probably have lots of friends and meaningful relationships.  If that doesn’t describe you, then try practicing proactive gratitude for awhile and see if things don’t change for you.  This is an experiment. The Gratitude Experiment. We’re experimenting with these ideas here.

Take that idea of someone whom others like to hang with, and think about the workplace for a moment.  If you were an employer, which candidate would you rather hire (all other things being equal?)  I’m thinking you’d hire the positive, optimistic, forward-thinking, grateful one as oppposed to the negative, pessimistic, looking-to-place-the-blame-on-others candidate.   So, developing a practice of gratitude may possibly make you more employable…or help you keep your job and, perhaps, rise to the top.

Again, experiment with these ideas in your own life.  How are other people responding to you?  Are you attracting more positive people into your life?  Is your boss changing how he responds to you? Do you feel more relaxed?  Are you sleeping better?  Are you getting sick less often? Do you get over colds quicker than before? 

Then let us know how it goes.  Report back here.  We’re conducting our own “unofficial” study here.

Many Blessings.

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I am grateful for my husband and his willingness to stand right by my side through a challenging situation.

I am grateful for my kids and the time we spend together in the car in the morning on the way to school.

I am grateful for the opportunity to watch my children blossom and witness their little creative writing talents develop.

I am grateful for that first cup of coffee in the morning by the fireplace, with my Aman Motwane book.

I am grateful for the fabulous view outside my office window.