Author Archives: Victoria @ Gratitude Experiment

Gratitude Experiment: Day 69

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In a recent talk, Agape’s Rev. Michael Beckwith expressed the concept of letting go of what no longer serves us.  In this regard, he was observing that many of us have “pet peeves” which are actually more harmful than you think, and it might be time to to let go them. 

He said that many of us actually “love to hate something.”  That we get some sort of satisfaction and thrill out of our pet peeves that becomes almost an addictive “high” when we engage in them.  Therefore people with pet peeves tend to engage in thinking about them A LOT and even expecting that which they hate to occur.  “You see, I told you she would do that…ohhhh, that really gets my goat.  I hate that when she does that.”  Etc., etc. 

He followed this by expressing the idea that “the Universe doesn’t know the difference between what you love and what you hate, it only knows what you’re interested in.”  A statement often restated in one way or another by many New Thought/ancient wisdom leaders…because it is so true.

The Universe only knows what’s got your attention and what you’re emotionally caught up in.  The Universe “reads” the tone of your vibration and reflects back into your world more of the same.  This is why it may seem as if you are revisiting the same painful experience over and over again.  This is why complaining can have such a negative impact on our lives.

As practitioners of proactive gratitude, we can use this wisdom to remind us that when we are engaged in noticing and celebrating and documenting those things for which we are grateful, we are actively engaging in what we love.  We are actively vibrating with the energy of love, which the Universe “hears” and reflects back to us. 

So lets spend more time getting “emotionally caught up” in the energy of what is so wonderful about our lives. Let’s be really interested in the good that is all around us and the best in people.  Let’s allow ourselves to really enjoy the good and vibrate with the energy of love.  And then, let’s notice how, day by day, there is more and more to be thankful for.

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I am grateful that my children made it through their overnight camp successfully without even one call home.

I am grateful for the lush, lavish abundance reflected in the trillions of leaves on the millions of trees all around me.

I am grateful for the successful financial negotiations which are almost now complete.

I am grateful for the new skin product that miraculously cleared up my irritated skin.

I am grateful for the support and camaraderie of my “moms night out” group of fabulous women.

I am grateful for being introduced to an accupunturist and the miraculous work it is doing.  I feel great!

Gratitude Experiment: Day 68

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Evidence.  It’s what we human beings need in order to believe something.  We analytical beings require solid, prove-it-to-me evidence before we can fully accept something as true.  We can have faith, and many of us go on faith, but faith can be shaken and needs constant boosting in order to remain viable.  For example, in order to keep our faith in God, something we cannot unequivocally prove, we must continually attend religious services, read religious or inspirational material and perhaps be active in a study or support group.  Some of us need more factual evidence than others of course.

I believe in a Divine Power and a Presence that creates, guides and governs the universe and creates, guides and governs my life.  I believe we live in a friendly universe that constantly supports our highest good and our experience of joy.  It’s my faith. But how is this faith supported by evidence?   Have you guessed by now?  By the practice of…gratitude.

Practicing proactive gratitude daily builds evidence that I am cared for, that I am blessed, that I am loved.  I have evidence every day the Divine is present in my environment and that the universe is conspiring to support my experience of love and joy.  This evidence has, for me, done more than any other practice to support my faith.  For me now, it is not faith, it’s a fact.  When I look at the lists of gratitudes that I have written down in my journal and on this blog over the last few months, I see my proof right in front of my eyes. 

That’s why an essential element in the practice of proactive gratitude is to write your gratitudes down every day.  You are building evidence…in black and white.  It’s what your analytical mind wants…it’s what it needs to be convinced that you are blessed.  And, it is what it needs to be convinced that you will continue to be blessed and that more is on the way!  So, write them down…daily…either in your journal or here on this blog under the “comment” section.  Soon, you will have built the evidence your mind requires, and you will walk forward into your day, into your world, with the knowledge that you are loved and all is well!

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I am so grateful for the beauty of new, bright green leaves springing out in abundance of the trees all around me.

I am grateful for continued blessings in my efforts to become debt-free.

I am grateful for the closer bond my daughter and I forged these last few weeks.

I am grateful for my big protector dog who always on the job.

I am grateful for the successes this week in my business.

I am grateful for my husband’s work and how it fulfills him.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 67

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A friend of mine, Betsy, sent me a few of her gratitude quotes which she has hanging in the appropriate places around her house.  She is married with two children, one of which has not been the easiest to raise. (I think she’d say that is quite the understatement.)  Betsy’s a positive, loving and caring woman who bubbles over with life.  I’m wondering if quotes like these that she lives by have anything to do with her enthusiastic nature.

This one hangs over her kitchen sink:

Without these dirty dishes to wash I wouldn’t have hungry mouths to feed. I wouldn’t have the hands to hold and the people to love. Thank You Dishes!

This one hangs in the laundry room:

Dirty laundry reminds me that someone has worked, someone has played, someone has eaten, someone has slept, enjoyed their day just as they will tomorrow, if someone like me takes care of what they wear.

Reading these quotes are helping me shift my grumbly attitude about cleaning up messes and doing the laundry….the later I’ve disliked with a passion.  I’m going to think differently about it.  I’m going to look at each piece of kid clothing as I’m putting it in the washer or folding it and try to remember the fun she had in it that day.   I want to feel grateful for the fact that I have children.  And when I cook for my family, rather than thinking, ugh…another meal I have to prepare…who’s going to complain about which part of it?  No, rather than this, I want to begin to be grateful that I have a family to cook for.  Perhaps my attitude will spill over to my family who might begin to feel grateful that someone is preparing yet another meal for them.

If I can do this, I’ll have come a long way to transforming my day-to-day attitude and the energy I’m putting out into the universe. 

I once said to my husband who was complaining about stepping on little toy pieces on the steps, “You know honey, one of these day…and it will be sooner than you know…you’re going to miss seeing and stepping on those little toy pieces, because your children will be grown up and gone.  And you will miss them and the time you had with them when they were little.  So try to enjoy it while it’s here.”

I need to take my own advice.

Thanks Betsy.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 66

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I can’t believe I’ve been writing about proactive gratitude for this long without mentioning the practice of meditation.  Not that one must meditate daily to benefit from the practice of gratitude. Not at all. However, meditation can serve as a “way in.”   It’s the best way I know to connect with the heart; to connect with the Source from which all things flow, to enter the vibration of gratitude and to allow it to permeate our cells.

On a purely physiological level, meditation has been scientifically proven to reduce stress, calm the central nervous system, and relieve a host of problems from anxiety to sleep disorders and even drug addiction. Meditation is considered to be beneficial to the immune system which is our defense against a myriad of diseases. Meditation aids one’s ability to concentrate and improves overall mental alertness.  Research has found that individuals who have practiced meditation throughout their lives look eight to ten years younger than their peers.  This may be because meditation gives your body and mind a deep rest — much more than sleep itself.  For whatever period of time you spend in meditation, your entire being dwells in a state of suspended timelessness.      

This sense of timelessness is another important benefit of meditation, for it gives you the opportunity to be entirely in the present moment.  Most of us fluctuate between living in the past and in the future.  We are often influenced by what just happened: “What did she mean when she said that?” “He was such a jerk to me.”  Or, we critique our own performance, “How did I come across?” or “I should have said….”  Alternately, our present moment awareness is robbed by the enormous amounts of time we spend planning the future:  “What will I wear?”  “What will I do?”  “What will I say?”  “What will I make for dinner?”  “Will he/she call?” “What will I do with the kids this weekend?” and of course, “How will this situation turn out?” 

Rarely do we spend much time simply being in the here and now, enjoying the fact that we are alive…feeling grateful for our life and all the magic therein.   Meditation give us the opportunity to be fully present in the moment, to breathe in life and to connect with the Source.  It is an experience that replenishes us and allows us to move through the day alert to the blessings in life.  Meditation allows love and gratitude to fill us up and keep us full.  

There are as many forms of meditation as there are personality types, and therefore there is one that will fit you.  So experiment and find one that calls to you.  But don’t get into the trap of waiting to find the “right” meditation technique or guru.  You can start right now by just sitting still, closing your eyes and focusing on your breath. That’s all.  Do that for a few minutes and you’ll soon feel a deep sense of peace.  Keep practicing and you’ll begin to realize the benefits of meditation that I mentioned above.

As always, let me know how it goes.

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I am grateful for the beautiful spring weather and color all over the city.

I am grateful for the YMCA and all the camp counselors who devote their time so lovingly there.

I am grateful for Evos — a healthy alternative to fast food.

I am grateful for the abundance that is all around and in my life now.

I am grateful for limitless possibility in which I exist.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 65

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Being new to the East Coast (a Southern California transplant) I am always astonished by the vibrant colorful flowering that happens in the Spring. The pink dogwoods, the white snow puff pear trees, the wild yellow daffodils, the pink and white magnolia blossoms all are truly extraordinary!  Southern California never really has Spring because the trees never really lose their leaves. It’s never really winter there. 

The winter here is real too.  No leaves.  Not much sun.  Bare, lifeless and cold.  So, seeing a real Spring for the first time in contrast to the stark winter is a real eye-opener.  It becomes so clear that the lifeless-looking trees in winter are not dead at all.  They’re simply dormant…reformulating…waiting for the right time.   And with the  right tilt of the planet, the warmth of the sun and nourishment of the rain they burst forth in their splendor.

Just like the trees in winter, there are  parts of my life…goals, dreams, desires that once seemed completely dead.  However, with a little reformulating, some warmth of love and intention, the sprinkling of support and the nourishment of proactive gratitude, these can also burst forth their glory and be fulfilled.

How about you? Are there any areas of your life that you’ve just given up as “dead.”   Are there any goals, dreams, or heart’s desires that have remained dormant for far too long?   Perhaps they’re not at all dead.   Perhaps they’re just waiting for the conditions to favorable before they can blossom.   Following are 3 steps for creating a “spring-like” atmosphere for the natural blossoming of those dreams and heart’s desires…

1. Reformulate your goals and dreams.  Is there a new or different way this dream can be realized?  Think outside the box as they say.  How else can this desire express or be realized?  Sometimes the distance between two points is not a straight line.  Journal some ideas just to get the juices flowing. Then narrow down the possibilities and focus on one or two.

2. Stand in the warmth of supportive and encouraging friends.  Be certain they are supportive before you share your plans with them.  Also, shower yourself with your own support and encouragement…whether that takes the form of meditation, visualization, affirmation or prayer.

3. Finally, nourish your life with gratitude.  Develop a daily practice of gratitude for everything in your life.  Follow my steps for practicing proactive gratitude as explained in the “How to Participate” page. And pay special attention to, and celebrate any and every step forward in the realization of those dreams.

Let’s take a cue from nature.  All spring long, when we look at the beauty of this planet, let’s remember that all of nature is designed to come to fruition and express it’s innate magnificent potential.  We’re created from the same substance, therefore, so are we destined to realize our heart’s desires.

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I am so grateful for the abundance of vibrant color and new green buds springing up all around me.

I am grateful for the fabulous massage I received earlier.

I am grateful for the wonderful public school in our area.

I am grateful for new friendships.

I am grateful for a sparkling clean house and the fact that I didn’t have to do it!

Gratitude Experiment: Day 64

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Today I thought I’d share a little bit with you about how and why I started The Gratitude Experiment.

Since the age of 16, when I was introduced to meditation and Ernest Holmes’ The Science of Mind (which is basically the idea that we are, in essence, spiritual beings and our thoughts are creative) I have pursued spirituality with a passion. I have always been a meditator, a positive thinker and consider myself an optimist.  I’ve given workshops, lectures, written a book and many articles on various aspects of New Thought and how we can work with the Law of Attraction to manifest our heart’s desires.  I have experienced miraculous demonstrations in my own life using these techniques.  My life is not perfect.  My consciousness is not perfect.  But I consider myself immensely blessed. 

I’ve always included the idea of gratitude as part of this practice, but I realize now, that I had only skimmed the surface.  I did not understand how powerful the practice of proactive gratitude can be…until recently…

…Until one very cold day last November when I went for a run in the woods close to where we live in North Carolina with my dog.  I was deep in thought about my life.  I couldn’t understand why, with all the meditation and imaging and affirmations and prayers that there were things that were not going well…at all.  I was having tremendous challenges with one of my children.  I wondered why my beloved Love & Blessings business was failing.  You probably know how this goes…one negative “woe-is-me” thought follows another.  I quickly became consumed by the idea that all the opportunities in my career had passed me by and how unfair it all seemed.  It was unusually cold and most of the trees had already shed their leaves. I was running tired and kept stumbling over stones and tree roots. I was just considering turning back, when my dog (on leash) stopped and sniffed at something for what seemed like an eternity.  Irritated at the idea of being forced to stop, I grumbled something, and then suddenly…I looked up and noticed it. 

The sun had broken through the clouds and appeared to be shining directly on one tree in a grassy patch.  This tree still had its leaves which had turned golden, and in the direct sunlight it positively glowed.  I stood there in amazement.  “What beauty!  What a gift this is!”  How could I dwell on all that appeared wrong in life when this miracle stood before me?  As I began to open to gratitude for this, a wave of love and gratitude flooded me and I felt like I was floating.  I felt so one with tree and with the forest.

I started to give thanks to the universe for the beauty of this site, and then gave thanks to my dog for stopping me so that I wouldn’t miss it.  I was grateful for the whole forest and for the opportunity to run in it that morning with my dog. Well, as it happens with gratitude, one gratitude led to another and then to another, and another.  This attitude of sudden gratitude started slipping into my thoughts about my life and, before long, I began to realize my life was pretty darned blessed.  My thoughts turned to all the prosperity, love and well-being in my life.  A blast of energy rushed through my body and I was suddenly leaping over stones and roots. 

When I got back home I was changed…perhaps forever.  Not because of the mystical experience I had in the woods (although that sure helped), but because I made a committment to practice gratitude on a much deeper level than ever before.  Mystical experiences don’t carry us through challenging days. They are, by nature, fleeting.  It takes practice to incorporate what we know into our daily lives, in order to experience transformation.

A few days later, I decided that, in order to support myself in my gratitude practice, and perhaps inspire and support others in their transformational practice of gratitude,  I would keep a blog and update it daily.  This site went up Thanksgiving Day and has been a source of support for my own practice of intentional…or “proactive” gratitude…and for many others as well.   I hope it is for you too.  For more info on what “proactive” gratitude is and how to participate, simply click on the How to Participate tab by the sunset on the top left.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 62

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Sometimes people ask me if developing an attitude of gratitude causes one to ignore the problems in life…to just pretend problems are not there and therefore become apathetic and lack initiative.  It’s a good question.  I asked this same question too for many years, until I finally realized that nothing in life really gets solved by complaining about it. 

Let’s think about it. When we are complaining about some person or situation in our lives we are, in effect, putting ourselves in a victim position.  We’ve not yet done anything to change it. We may not see how it can be changed. So we complain, and complain, and complain.  The more we complain, the deeper we dig ourselves into victim-hood.  Are victims empowered to change things? No, they become paralyzed with fear, regret, blame and self-doubt.  It’s always someone else’s fault or the system’s fault that they’re miserable.  And they give up.

On the other hand, if we perceive life from a viewpoint that there is so much to be grateful for, we become empowered.  Oh, we notice those things that are wrong.  We’re not stupid.  However, we don’t dwell in it. We don’t wallow in it.  But, we see it all right.  And because we’re coming from a frame of mind that we are essentially blessed, we feel empowered to take any action necessary to change what can be changed as effortlessly as possible and return to a place of gratitude.   

People who practice proactive gratitude are more aligned with their intuition and innate wisdom.  They are unafraid to speak their mind, and move forward in life, taking whatever action needs to be taken to move things forward or make necessary changes. 

Proactive gratitude challenges us to search out the blessing in challenging situations and to call forth the blessing, while changing what needs to be changed…or changing our perception of an event and learning to live in peace with it. 

Don’t take my word for it.  Look around at the people in your life.  You probably know some people who just love to complain.  They just can’t get through a conversation without complaining about something.  Do they effectively change what needs to be changed?  Are they at peace with what can’t?  Then, look at those who have a positive, optimistic outlook on life…those who easily express their gratitude.  Are they more effective at taking action and speaking up when necessary?  Are they more centered and at peace?  Do their lives work better?  Take a look around and see the difference between the two. Then, decide which frame of mind you’d like to embrace.

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I am grateful for forgiveness. Those who forgive me and my ability to forgive others, and myself.

I am grateful for the beautiful pink cherry blossoms that are beginning to spring up.

I am grateful for a warm day at last.

I am grateful for my husband and his energy and initiative.  No lazy bones here.

I am grateful for all the insight that is flowing though me and for more clarity.

I am grateful for the prosperity manifested in my life this week.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 61

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Bills.  They come every month…all throughout the month. They never stop coming.  We’ve got to pay them, and pay them on time, or we’ll find ourselves in big trouble.  So we do.  The question is, with what kind of attitude do we perform this monthly (or weekly) task?  From the moment we spot the bills in the mailbox to the writing out of the check, actual or virtual, to placing a stamp and mailing them out, how are we feeling?  What are we thinking? How are we reacting?

I know how tempting it is to think (or scream) “Ahhh, again?  Didn’t I just pay this?  Wow, this is really high this month! How am I going to pay this?” Sometimes we swear. Sometimes we gasp.  And, our feelings about actually taking the time to sit down and write the checks and send them off is usually met with feelings that run the gamut of emotions from resentment to detestation.

This is yet another place where the practice of gratitude can transform your life…and your bank account. Here’s how…

1. The moment you receive the bill in the mail (or the email that the automatic deduction has just taken place), consciously switch your thinking from the thoughts expressed above to a feeling of being grateful for the product or service you received for which you are now paying.  Whether it’s the electricity bill or cell-phone bill or credit card statement reflecting purchases you are now enjoying, remember that you are indeed enjoying the service. You couldn’t really get along well without it, and you are grateful for having it in your life.  This is also a good practice to do throughout the month.  From time to time express gratitude for the fact that your lights come on when you flip the switch; your phone connects; your car gets you to your destination.  You are enjoying these privileges all month, every month.

2. While you are writing out your check, or receive the auto-deduct notice, take a moment to repeat the following affirmation, “I am grateful for ________________(whatever service or product you are now paying for). My gratitude opens the floodgates for Divine Substance to generously pour more of it’s prosperity through me and into my financial affairs. This, and all financial obligations, are now met easily and joyfully, with abundance to spare.”

3. Banks and credit card issuing companies have come under fire for a while now for their somewhat “sneaky” ways to generate fees and increase interest rates without warning.  Recent laws are restricting their ability to do this.  I’m grateful for this!  Many of us (myself included) have learned some painful lessons in the use of credit cards.   However, I’ve found it helpful to transform my attitude from one of resentment toward these institutions to one of being grateful for the trust they have in me by offering me a low-cost, unsecured loan to finance my business.  Therefore, I am happy to repay this loan.  Since I’ve transformed my attitude, I’ve had miracles occur in relation to my credit card bills…absolute miracles.

Our financial affairs respond quickly to our change in attitude.  They offer us the opportunity to heal our beliefs, release our judgement, and increase our gratitude for the abundant blessings we have.

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I am grateful for my daughter (who I’ve had such a challenging time with recently) expressing her love to me in an amazing way.

I am grateful for my wonderful car that never fails to start, and always gets me to where I need to go.

I am grateful for the spectacularly beautiful weekend.

I am grateful for the new buds I’m seeing in the trees…Spring will be here soon!

Gratitude Experiment: Day 60

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One of the things that I am most grateful for this year is being involved in a program…no it’s more of a “tribe”…of individuals who are loving, supportive and committed.  This tribe is led by two of the most amazing people, Kristen and David Morelli (the hosts of the Everything is Energy Radio Show.)  It’s called the Prosperity Tribe and I’ve been a member for almost a year now.  It has made the largest difference in my life so far.  I have worked through dissolving blocks to receiving my good, as well as learning practical skills for increasing my success.  David is a master energy worker, and, during the weekly calls he leads the tribe through energy exercises that dissolved blocks, and magnitize prosperity to us.  It’s hard to describe in words…and sometimes I don’t understand how it works…I only know that it works!  The difference in my life has been miraculous.  And Kristen is the practical gal who, after making millions well before the age of 30, shares all of her secrets about how you can do it too.  The amazing that is that they are both down to earth, loving, and genuine.

I am so grateful for the friend who turned me on to them.  I know it wasn’t within her comfort zone to recommend someone so highly…but I’m so thankful she did. And I’m thankful that I followed my instinct to listen and become a member.  I had my doubts in the beginning. Probably like you, I’m constantly inundated with invitations to join some group or another, some teleseminar that promises that I’ll become a millionaire overnight.  It’s all so tempting, but always so disappointing in the end.  The Prosperity Tribe is vastly different.  First of all it’s on-going.  You join the call once a week and are supported throughout the week via their Tribe forum.  I can’t always make the calls, so I listen to the podcast, and for me that’s better because I can go back and replay something I didn’t quite get. 

Anyway, it’s so much more than I have described here.  And the good news is that they’re opening up the Tribe (which has been closed for months now) to new members.  And they’ve got an introductory call coming up this Tuesday, March 9th.  Click on this link to see the details.

http://www.everythingisenergy.com/cmd.php?af=1100784

I’m convinced that this will become one of your largest gratitudes of the year as well.

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I am grateful for Lorraine who introduced me to the Prosperity Tribe.

I am grateful for my new fabulous phone.

I am grateful that my daughter is showing sign of growing up and taking some responsibility.

I am grateful for the amazing songs on the birds here in N. Carolina!  What beautiful music.

I am grateful for the daphodiles which, by their very appearance, are promising that Spring really will be here soon.

Gratitude Experiment: Day 59

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I moved to the Southeast a little over a year ago from Southern California.  As you can imagine, there are many differences between the two parts of the United States. Some welcome changes, some not so much.  Mostly welcome changes though.

One of the biggest difference you notice right away is how polite everyone is in the South…how nice people are here. It’s that old “Southern Charm” that makes you feel welcome and graciously put at ease.   However, the longer I live here, the more aware I’m becoming that for some, the “southern charm” is a thin veneer masking a darker interior.   Not everyone mind you, but for some. 

Some charming Southerners have a deep spiritual life and are as warm,  loving and generous once you really get to know them, as they are on first meeting.  And I’ve got to say, these people are such a pleasure to be around.  I want to hang out with them. I want to give them my business. I want to join their cause.  What do you need from me?  Sure, you’ve got it!

For some, however the charm is only skin deep.  It seems to disappear once you get to know them even a little.  What makes this difference? What separates those who are gracious, warm and loving inside and out, from those for whom it’s only a facade?  My guess would be that the difference lies in their perception of life.  One is able to see the good in everything and has learned to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  These people are generous by nature because they know that giving increases their own joy.

Those for whom the charm is only a facade do not have the same outlook on life. In fact, they seem to complain…a lot…about everything. They feel that they are victims and therefore hoard what they have for fear that someone will soon take it away.  Their lives are usually filled with drama and unhappiness.  They seem to repel prosperity, true friendship and love.  They have not learned to cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  I know this, because I used to be just this person…without the benefit of the southern charm!  Yikes, who wants to hang with that?  Only other equally miserable people, that’s who.

Of course I’m not referring to southerners exclusively.  There are people from all over the world who tend to fit into one of these two categories.  It’s just that because “southern charm” is so noticeable when one first moves here, that the differences are striking.

But, what I know is, that the moment those who are living in the second category begin to cultivate a practice of gratitude, their lives begin to transform immediately. And if they keep with it, they will become the people who radiate true charm from deep within, attracting to themselves more friendship, more love, more prosperity and more success.

Which category would you say you fit into?  Which do you want to be?  The choice is yours.

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I am grateful for the perfect resolution to a past financial matter. 

I am grateful for the beauty of the light “powder sugar” dusting of snow.

I am grateful for all the successes from yesterday.

I am grateful for the capacity to always grow and learn more each and every day.